We have all seen those movies. You know the ones where two people just happen to be at the same diner at the same time and their eyes just happen to meet, as they both just happen to glance up from their coffee cups at the same time? Guess what? There is a reason they call it “the movies.” That reason is that it is the opposite of real life. That just doesn’t happen in the real world. If you are a senior citizen and single, you know that finding that amazing person is one of the hardest things there is. Thankfully, many seniors are finding a new and better way to meet people. It’s online dating for seniors. It’s available to just about everyone today. If you have an internet connection or a smartphone, you can do it.

Contents

• 1 My personal experience
• 2 Seven ways an online dating service can change your life
• 5 Online dating services

My personal experience

In her classes, Williams reviews the differences among dating sites, such as explaining that some use swipes for matches, while others use quizzes. (While there is no one-size-fits-all site or app, the seniors she works with tend to use OurTime if they are paying, and Bumble, OkCupid or PlentyofFish if they want to use a free site.) Be strategic. Trying Something New. My general tip would be to just try something different.

I married my high school sweetheart two weeks after she graduated from high school. I was 20; she was 18. I never really dated anyone else. Six years and three kids later, Annette was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She fought a good fight but after over 30 years of fighting a very mean disease, she just wore out. She had been in a wheelchair for almost 20 years. When I decided that it was time to consider remarrying, I found that any dating experience I had was over 40 years out of date. It was terrifying.

A homely target

Because of my position in my church, my neighborhood and my community, I found that I was an attractive, if homely, target. It seemed that I was besieged by casseroles from every widow and divorcee within five miles. As I said, it was terrifying. I decided to try online dating. I signed up for two or three different online services. Here’s what I found: I was besieged again, but at least it was electronically. I could control the environment.

Without much of a plan, I started to engage with a few women who were in the right age group and who could make their subjects and verbs match in their profiles. I started to meet a few for lunch. To me, it would be the most benign way to get acquainted. I suppose you could say I went into power dating mode. The attention was almost intoxicating. After being my late wife’s primary care provider for almost 20 years, I found that people were paying attention to me. It was confusing. Overwhelming, too.

Success!

I found one lady that was easy to talk with. We spend hours on the phone. I finally asked her to lunch. She walked in and smiled at me. The rest, as they say, is history. I’ve always been a sucker for smiles. Two weeks later, I asked her to marry me. In another three weeks, we were married. A bit quick? Probably! Risky? For certain. Here’s the rest of the story, though. Next month, we will celebrate our twelfth anniversary. Were we lucky? Yes.

Seven ways an online dating service can change your life

Here’s what I learned. Computer dating services can change your life; the seven ways internet relationship services can change your life are so wonderful that if you don’t give up the bar scene and sign up, you are truly missing the boat. So, from personal experience here are seven ways an online dating service can change your life:

1. Opens the dating pool

Your first of the 7 ways online dating for seniors via your computer or smart device can change your life is that they can open the dating pool to thousands of people you would not otherwise get the chance to see or meet. I lived in a small town, and I know – or know of – just about everyone, but there was no one here for me. The need to look elsewhere was obvious. I mean, what do you do – go to the next closest town and just drive around looking? Well, online dating services can change your life by simply adding lots of people to your “network.”

2. Safe way to connect to others

The second of the seven ways computer dating services can change your life is by providing a safe way to connect to others. Let’s face it; going into the local club is probably not going to find you the one you have been seeking, and it can be dangerous, too. By following some simple rules, computer dating services can provide safety.

Dating For Senior Citizens

3. Get to know someone’s mind

Now the third way online dating for seniors can help you is by allowing you the chance to get to know someone’s mind before you get to know his/her body. Relationships built on lust don’t work. With online dating, you can take your time and communicate for as long as you want before you meet.

4. Provides a way to be selective

The fourth of the seven ways online relationship services can change your life is by providing a way to be selective. If you are not interested in anyone who doesn’t want children, just type that in. All the confirmed non-moms will be gone from the pool with a click.

5. Saves you time

A fifth way these services can change your life is to save you time. If someone is just not interested, it does not take a whole evening of struggling to make polite conversation across the dinner table to find out. With the click of the mouse, he can tell you he is not interested or she can choose not to respond to you at all (which some find rude, but others don’t).

6. Provides basic information about people

The sixth way online relationship dating services can change your life is to provide you with the basic information about people before you even meet, which makes the dating process so much easier and more fun. If you already know your date’s favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird, you already have something you can talk about – an icebreaker, if you will.

7. Helps make you very happy

Of course, all of this boils down to one thing – the seventh way online dating services for seniors can change your life – computer dating services can be the best, safest, most fun way to meet your soul mate and make you the happiest person alive. What more can you ask for than that?

How to choose the right online site

With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching user profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. You will find special interest sites for almost anything you can think of…outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So, what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:

• Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month on your membership (s)?
• Features. Which features are the most important to you?
  • Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want, or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
  • Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email?
  • Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
  • Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
  • Safety. There are websites that do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status, and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?

These are a few things but not all things you shouldconsider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homeworkand choose wisely for the best results for you.

Online dating services

General Sites

Zoosk Seniors https://www.zoosk.com/

eHarmony

Christian Single Sites

If you are an individual of faith, don’t overlook faith-based dating sites. Here are just a few:

Christian Café https://www.christiancafe.com/

Catholic Match: https://www.catholicmatch.com/

LDS Singles https://www.ldssingles.com/

Baptist Dating Service https://www.baptistdatingservice.com/

Caveat Emptor – The Dangers of Dating Services Online

Surely, there are dating service consumer complaints that come to mind. Let us just say that some people tend to be picky, meticulous, and demanding. Some complaints are petty things while some are grave. It all depends on the type of features the dating services cater to and the type of individuals who are dealt with.

For someone to be able to sign up in a dating services website, personal details such as gender, age, location, physical features, and many others are required. Now because you would only be communicating through email, chat, message boards, podcasts, or telephone, there is a large chance of faking your identity. Who knows how many of the members are doing it? Thus, authenticity is lost.

The Most Common Dating Services Consumer Complaints

Online dating services are often charged with problems most especially with regards to the payment schemes. Some of these websites are frauds. They tempt you with interesting teasers in which you get enticed to sign up without realizing the motive behind. Usually, customers fail to pre-review the profiles uploaded on the website. Another known complaint handed in by costumers concerning the dating services is the very interesting and attractive profiles which thus function as the bait so that new members would sign up and be willing to pay. There are likewise those websites that use the dating services flagship as a front but then when you sign up for those, you get directed to other websites that involve scams, prostitution, and marketing strategies.

Then, of course, there is the billing complaint. This stands out as the most common consumer complaint against online dating services. Trial memberships are often interesting for dating services members. As is most common among the users of the internet, you usually end up happy with the opportunity of chancing upon some trial membership offers of a website. Some of these sites would have low-priced trials too. Chances are, you still get charged up with the payment even though your trial period has already expired. Most often, the full amount of the membership fee gets deducted from your credit card account.

Avoiding the Dangers

Online dating for seniors can be risky business. There are, however, internet dating services administrators that are committed to serving the best interest of their clients. They do monitor the activities and behavioral actions of their participants. There are people who manage and track down the common consumer complaints, set regulations, and ban the people who violate any of those.

It is important that you be very careful with your homeaddress and other personal and account details. Taking these precautions workfor the best.

There are always white lies involved in internet dating services. You must be careful as you expose yourself to these opportunists. Consumer complaints on dating services continue to escalate as time goes by. Why give in yourself as a pawn to it? Be wary. Be always alert.

Looking for first date ideas

If you’ve found someone you’d like to get to know better, you might want to consider some of the first date ideas we wrote about here.

Summary

In summary, remember these five bullet points:

• Be careful
• Trust but verify
• Have fun
• Remain true to who you are.
• Go for it!

Returning to the dating scene can be terrifying for seniors. What am I supposed to do and when am I supposed to do it? What should I wear? Where should we go? Questions! Questions! Questions!

Common sense should prevail when it comes to proper dating etiquette for senior singles. Here are our Top 10 quick tips to proper dating etiquette for single seniors who are starting to reenter the dating arena.

1. Be ready with some open-ended questions.
2. Keep your conversation appropriate.
3. Allow the first kiss to happen naturally.
4. Only date one person at a time or be upfront about it.
5. Take your time.
6. Have fun.

Read on for a further explanation.

Contents

• 2 Our Top 10 etiquette tips for single seniors
• 3 Allow the first kiss to happen naturally

What is etiquette?

Wikipedia says that etiquette is the set of conventional rules of personal behavior in polite society, usually in the form of an ethical code that delineates the expected and accepted social behaviors that accord with the conventions and norms observed by a society, a social class, or a social group.

Our Top 10 etiquette tips for single seniors

With apologies to Emily Post, here are suggestions. Rules seem to be too rigid and harsh. Rules stifle fun. Common sense fosters fun!

Be honest in your search

After my wife passed and I decided that I should start dating, I turned to online dating. Having married my high school sweetheart, I was really, really inexperienced at dating. She was really the only one I seriously dated in high school. It was terrifying, to say the least. We had moved quite a bit over our almost 40 years of marriage.

I knew of and about people all over the country. I was totally surprised to see people I knew pop up in my searches. They could have won awards in creative writing. Many of the pictures were twenty years out of date as well.

Be comfortable in your own skin. You are what you are. We all have warts. There is nothing to be gained by posting old pictures and phony bios. How would you explain the differences during the first date anyway? That’s not a good way to establish a relationship. I wrote about online dating in an earlier article. You can read it here.

Men should pay for the first date

I am a bit old fashioned but I believe men should always pay for the first date. If finances are a bit tight, choose the venue for your first date accordingly. Conversely, women should be prepared to offer to pay their share or to leave the tip.

Focus on the little things that do not cost anything. If you are spending less on her, ramp up the attention.

In the liberated environment of today, women can and do take the lead. A new line of thinking is that whoever extended the invitation should pay. However, I am a traditionalist. I think it is best to follow tradition no matter who extended the invitation and the man should pay.

Always choose a public place for a first date

Safety has to be the first rule of senior dating, especially if you met online. Never propose or never agree to any venue that will put you in jeopardy. Chose public, well-lighted places. It is best to meet at the chosen venue. Meeting rather than being picked up has the added benefit of being able to leave when you want to leave if things are going badly.

Follow your gut. If things feel uncomfortable, end the date immediately.

Always let a friend know when and where you’re going and when you will be back. It adds another layer of safety.

Best behavior is mandatory

Both parties need to be on their best behavior. So, what does best behavior look like for you? First of all, avoid the big three topics that might not end well: religion, politics, and money. Everything you do should be built on the foundation of respect – for yourself and for your date.

Relying on more traditional manners from Emily Post to start out any relationship will get you started right! One never has to apologize for being a lady or gentleman.

Be ready with some open-ended questions

Long pauses in the conversation can seem like an eternity. Avoid them by having in mind a few open-ended questions in mind to stimulate the conversation.

Consider it your responsibility to keep the conversation going – not by talking but by asking open-ended questions. You know, who, what, why, when, where questions. They stimulate conversation.

Avoid closed end questions. Those are questions that can be answer by yes or no. They kill conversation. Consider what answers you will get with “what are your hobbies”versus “do you like to ski” and you will get the idea.

Dating For Seniors Inbox

If you ask your date about themselves and speak little of yourself, your date will think you are a wonderful conversationalist. In fact, they will be right. You will be!

eHarmony has a great article. Check it our here.

Keep your conversations appropriate

Forget about past relationships. Whether past relationships were good or bad, nothing good comes from looking back while you are getting acquainted on a first date, a second date, or even a third date. There will be plenty of time for that later if the relationship develops.

Focus on the one you are with today and look forward. It is extremely bad form to go on and on about an ex. Conversely, going on and on about a departed partner can be just as bad. It is OK to answer questions but do not dwell on the past.

Be cautious with financial information. Of course, full financial disclosure is mandatory at some point if the relationship develops. Finances should be a taboo subject on a first date and a red flag if it comes up during your date.

Allow the first kiss to happen naturally

Remember your first kiss when you were a teenager? It was exciting, exhilarating, and scary all in the same moment. You probably were not very good at it either. But, it all turned out alright, didn’t it?

Unleash your inner teenager. Just don’t rush it. Who initiates that first kiss? Either one of you can.

First date? Second date? Third Date? It doesn’t matter. You’ll know when the time is right. Here’s another place to follow your gut.

Aren’t butterflies fun!? They are not exclusive to teenagers and young adults.

Only date one person at a time

It is not unusual to date many different people at a time. The caveat here is that you always need to be open and tell your date. The decision to go exclusive should be a mutual decision. It is not a decision to be rushed.

Take your time

Although, as seniors, our time may be limited, senior dating is more of a marathon than a sprint. Courting requires time. Your courting behavior creates and fosters a woman’s feelings of attraction. The opposite is true as well.

Dating For Seniors Over 60

Have fun

Remember that your goal is to get acquainted not a life mate. It is the first date after all. Relax. Smile. Have fun. What is the worst thing that can happen? Quite frankly, if you watch out for your personal safety in your planning, the worst thing that can happen is you don’t go out again. The best thing is you go out again. Isn’t that a win-win proposition?

Best senior dating sites

Following are my Top 5 dating sites for seniors.

• Match
• eHarmony
• Christian Mingle
• Silver Singles
• Elite Singles

You can read my review of them here.

Dating For Senior Citizens

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